Question:  How do you manage the stress of being ultimately responsible for your client's representation? As part of that, what are your strategies for communicating expectations and risk to clients as well as overall litigation? Does any of this depend on the client or type of case? 

I’m glad someone asked this. While we all face this larger question in our practices—no matter who our clients are—we often do not discuss the issue in law school or after. To be sure, we are offered “stress management” techniques in CLEs and frequently informed about substance abuse, anxiety, and depression statistics that plague our industry. We are told to lean on colleagues, find ways to de-stress when at home, and make time for yourself. But in my opinion, those often treat the symptoms of a larger problem—carrying the burdens of our clients. Managing that burden is critical because if you cannot keep your own house in order, you cannot effectively serve your clients much less manage the rest of your life. 

Before I went to law school, I was leaning toward becoming a psychologist. Life had other plans, and I wound up in a courtroom instead of a therapy room. But the surprising thing, to me, is that I use those would-be psychology skills every day. Defending individuals and businesses is truly the same work. I am simultaneously advocating for my client’s legal interests, calming down their fears and anxieties, correcting their misunderstandings about the law, and managing my own stress and overwhelm so I can do all of the above competently. The only difference is that instead of a couch, I have a conference table. Though, a couch would be nice. 

I mention this because that is how I often manage the stress of being a mouthpiece for another person or company. I reframe the situations I find myself in with each case. Whatever went wrong to the Plaintiff was not my fault (regardless of whether it was/was not my client’s fault). I did not build (or negligently build) the building at issue in my defect cases. I did not treat (or breach the standard of care in treating) the patient who sued my client. I was not the social worker who tried their hardest to manage situations involving children, claims of abuse, and complicated family dynamics. I was not there when any of it happened.

Instead, I have the (unenviable) task of walking my client through the resulting litigation. My strategy in every case is to assume my client is my mom. She was my first client after law school. On my first client call, I do not assume they know anything about litigation. I do not jump into discussing the answer I need to draft or the discovery responses that are due. Instead, I first help them understand the big picture—what the lawsuit will look like, the timeframe, what the process is, and explain the hardest parts of it—the ones that are most emotional and the ones that are the most time-consuming. Ask the client if they are scared, concerned, or overwhelmed. Once the client is calm and educated, they will be able to help you better. 

Also, during the first couple of client calls, you will be able to tell whether they are picking up the nuances you are providing them, or if they are still struggling to understand the basics. If they are quick to understand, you can use more complicated vocabulary – like “Motion for Summary Judgment” or “Motion to Dismiss.” But if they still are not grasping the simpler concepts, use simpler language. Talk about how “motions” are decided by a judge and may end part or all a case. Find analogies for legal concepts or claims. Think of how a good doctor you’ve had has explained complicated medical issues. If you cannot simply things for your client, it will be hard to do so for the jury.

When communicating expectations and risk to clients, be direct but compassionate. Clients deserve to know the realistic range of outcomes in their case, including the bad ones. Sugarcoating does them no favors; it only delays their anxiety and erodes trust when reality sets in. Explain that litigation is inherently uncertain and that even strong cases can produce disappointing results. Make clear that our job is to give them our best professional judgment, not to tell them what they want to hear. 
The frequency and depth of my communication with clients depends on the client. I discuss this during our initial call—that there are certain phases they are involved in and others that will proceed with little contact—but they are always welcome to contact me. This seems to suffice for 95% of my clients. The others need a lot more handholding and reassurance. If your client seems to rub you the wrong way – or vice versa – you seem to frustrate them on every call, consider whether another lawyer on the case might be a better fit for the client calls. The key is to ask, listen, and adapt.

All of this said, the stress of being ultimately responsible for a client's representation is not something that fully disappears. You try to learn to live with it, to metabolize it, but it is always there in some form. I believe it is partly why our profession struggles so much. 

I want to say that I also exercise regularly, maintain boundaries between work and home, talk to colleagues who understand the pressures of this work, and see a therapist. Sometimes those are true, but sometimes I don’t make the smart decision. Sometimes I have another glass of wine. Sometimes I yell at my family at night because I couldn’t discharge my anger at opposing counsel or an uncooperative client. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I punch the punching bag in my kids’ playroom – I highly recommend this. Sometimes I scream sing in my car because the hearing or deposition didn’t go perfectly, and I keep rehearing the mistake I made play over and over in my head. Sometimes I stare at my computer, unable to manage the next task. 

I am not perfect. So, I wake up the next day—apologize to my family (if I didn’t already)—and try to do better. 

We may not operate on human bodies or conduct safety inspections on the airplanes we fly, but we defend those that do. We speak for them in the courtroom. And sometimes that means we take their burdens home with us. It is demanding and takes a toll, so be kind to yourself and those around you so you can show up for your clients tomorrow. 

Mary Butler is a shareholder at Bullivant Houser Bailey in Seattle. She defends clients against claims of medical malpractice, wrongful death, and catastrophic injury and also leads the firm’s Sports Law and Maritime practice groups. She helps clients navigate litigation with efficiency, building trust throughout the process by effectively communicating at each step. Whether she is asked to defend a doctor in a med mal case or an organization in an abuse case, Mary uses her tenacity and empathy to develop a practical case strategy to protect her clients.